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A Changed Woman

September 8, 2010

I just found out yesterday that the temporary tattoos that I ordered are not going to be shipped until Friday, so my weekend fundraising plans have been foiled. I’m taking the status update as a sign that I should re-arrange my plans instead of scrap them all together though. As such, I’ll be out for a few hours on Friday night working on my “really great idea” that I came up with after the last, highly successful chalk campaign. I’ll post pictures on Saturday so you know what I’m talking about!

On a running note, I did some thinking this morning during my 5 mile run and I wanted to let you all know one thing: If you think I’m never scared when it comes to my increased mileage, well then I’m doing a really good job with my writing of hiding my fear. At Mile 2 this morning, I was thinking about yesterday’s post. Specifically about my comment, “This week is 3-5-3 so it’s not that bad.” Honestly, I was thinking about those words and how it came to be that they could so non-chalantly come out of my mouth – then I had quite a laugh! You see, a year ago, I would have maybe said something like that. Two years ago, it was a possibility. But if you told me three years ago that I would one day say, “I have to run 3-5-3 this week, and it’s not that bad” then I would have told you that you were a quack psychic who was clearly on hallucinogens. And then I would have asked you to give me my money back.

Fund-raising has really been a wonderful distraction to me when it comes to running, but every week when I only focus on running and check off the running boxes on my printed training schedule, I do, still, feel a little pang of anxiety. Next week I have to run 6 miles on Wednesday.  6 Miles!  Who the heck runs 6 miles on a Weds. for the fun of it?!?  Well, after next week, me. But in the interim -and normally – I am not normally someone who would set the alarm for 5:45 am on a Wednesday, just so I can run 6 miles. The magnitude of my new running heights, even with all the distractions, has not evaded me.

In that sense, I’ve also spent a little bit of time thinking about how running has changed me through the years. I mean, like it or not, with anything new, change is inevitable. For example, whether you think you’re a runner or not, once you start running more than twice a week, or sign yourself up for a race or you condition yourself to follow a training plan, exercise changes you: physically, mentally, if you’re lucky – spiritually.

I can tell you one thing I’ve learned over the last few weeks: I do have a love for running. When I first signed up for this marathon, I admitted that the only reason I run is because I like to eat and I didn’t know if I considered myself a “runner.” Well, I still eat like an animal, but regarding the term “runner” while I’m not in complete agreement/acceptance, I am on the cusp of accepting that characterization with one qualifier:

I am a runner because I like running for a cause.

For me, combining my love of charity and volunteerism with something that I used to otherwise see as a task, has really enhanced my perception of running.  With the fusion, I feel like there is a sense of purpose behind why I run (and behind getting up early for example) that I am otherwise not naturally inclined to.  Now, I enjoy running.  Running has been a regular part of my lifestyle ever since I met my husband [he really loves running for running], but it wasn’t until I signed myself up for this task that I have found my own love of running.

Previously, it really was me versus running; something I had to tackle; something I had to overcome; something I had to do. Now, I am a changed woman – I like running.  I choose it.  I don’t battle it.  It is my friend.  I run because I like helping people and if running brings some extra attention to a really worthy cause, then sign me up.  Three years ago you would have been crazy to call me a runner.  But if you’ve got a race with a worthy cause, or you’re trying to raise some money parallel to running and you need help handing out cards, or holding signs, or selling something, etc., then give me a call because I am a runner now too.

Whew! Wow!  I can’t believe I said it.  I am a runner.  Hmmm.

Still in shock,

ep

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 8, 2010 12:25 pm

    i’ve always wanted to be a “runner” but i just had that same, you’re crazy outlook about being able to run over 2mi. now that i can do it, i am in love, head over heels, need running in my life. i do it completely for the fun of it.. which baffles my husband, friends, family, lol. if only they could understand it. 🙂

    ps. your post the other day about making a donation won me over – i just haven’t got around to it yet.. but it’s coming, promise! 🙂

  2. j0yd permalink
    September 9, 2010 9:12 am

    Congrats on finding your love! Running and I still have a love/hate relationship, but it’s been trending toward the love side of the spectrum lately, which is certainly a nice change of pace.

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